Our Birth Story

'And this year's winner of American Idol issss........David....COOK!'

Those were the last words I remember before turning off the television for the evening. The evening our little girl, Olivia Bee, was born. Earlier in the day Karen convinced me to take a walk around town. Miraculously, as I think about it now, I made it through our entire walk withouth a heavy feeling from the baby or the huge draft of fatigue that had been sending me to bed for the past two weeks (this must have been my 'nesting instinct' or sudden burst of energy).. We walked around Church Square which is two blocks from our house and holds our city's library, our dog park, and soon-to-be child's park. We shared a footlong at Subway and went shopping at our local knitting store and two baby boutiques where I nabbed four more Aiden + Anais swaddle blankets. Then, we made our way home and began our evening of Idol.

The contractions began at about 9:00 PM that fateful Wednesday, May 21st. I didn't want to get worked up like I did the last time I contracted for 14 hours straight with no progress so just kept on with closing house for the evening. Through the evening the contractions woke me every 10 minutes until about midnight where they switched gears and pain intensity to 5-8 minute intervals for 30 minutes. Finally, by 12:30 we were running 2-3 minutes apart and we called the hospital. The doctor from our office who was on-duty told us to go labor + delivery to check my progress.

Well, folks, we were able to gather our stuff and get to the hospital by about 1:45 AM - this was after our discovery that the route we had practiced several times was closed in the wee hours of the morn due to construction. We had to play it by ear utilizing our knowledge of the NYC grid system and FINALLY got to the hospital. We checked into triage where we were greeted by Natalie + Wendy. Progress was slow at dilatation about 3-4 centimeters and decent contractions. Unfortunately, they would not set up a room for myself unless I was ready for epidural - which I declined since the pain was pretty manageable and I didn't want to be bedridden. Like I had mentioned, I had tried to take this journey au natural. The ladies sent us to walk around and try to increase dilation. In lieu, we decided to drive back home since Jason realized he had not turned off his 4:30 AM alarm clock...which wouldn't be a big deal if our clock shut off automatically, we didn't know when we would be home next, or wanted to bother/stress out the pets.

We arrived back at the hospital an hour later...approximately 3:30 AM where I continued to labor and give in to the pain of the contractions. We did not get into a birthing room until about 7:30 AM and I was amazed at how HUGE the room was - practically the size of our apartment (apparently, this is where they have VIPs or celebrities give birth...meanwhile, I am thinking I got a big room because something was wrong!). I was immediately hooked up with external monitors for myself and the baby as well as a four hour penicillin drip since I was GBS positive.

Once in the birthing room my contractions were 1-2 minutes apart but the pain was beyond anything I could imagine (later learning the pain was 7-9 out of a 10 scale when they put in the internal monitoring...so I think I can say I held my own). I was using the bathroom like CRAZY. Suzie, my nurse, (GOD BLESS HER spent the entirety of my labor with me and even arranged to be in the OR) was amazing with support, pointers, and conversation to get my mind off of things. I got my epidural at about 9:30 AM and it was WONDERFUL! My doctor, who is now, fortunately, on duty, checks my dilation. To everyone's dismay I am still at the same dilation. My doctor then decides to induce me with a pitocin drip from 10:30 AM until about 4:30 PM.

At about 4:45 PM my doctor came in and checked my dilation once again. I WAS ONLY DILATED 5 CENTIMETERS!!!! This is when the emotional part came in. Since I was GBS positive and we were not sure when my water broke, we had to get the baby out sooner then later, and waiting around with a higher dose of pitocin could prove to be a failure. At this point I was very emotional and VERY scared - not to mention exhausted. They had switched me to an internal monitor for my contractions and added a catheter hours ago. My doctor also explained that the reason I could not dilate more was because the baby's head was too big to fit through my pelvic bone and was unable to push down on the uterus to dilate more (we also later discovered that when he pulled her out she was face up).

We decided a Cesearean was best.

Immediately the ball began to roll. Dr. Alexander came and was my AWESOME anesthesiologist and Suzie was able to work her way into the operating room with me. So many other people came to introduce themselves to me but most was a fog since I was trying hard to focus on my meditative breathing to calm myself from the emotional stress of major surgery as well as the anesthesia was causing my entire body to shake uncontrollably (another little thing they fail to mention in books + forums...and lasted throughout the entire surgery and into the recovery room).

The surgery to get little Olivia Bee out lasted only about 15 miutes. Jason sat by my side through the entire event...when they said....'HERE SHE IS!'...and all these oooohs and ahhhhhs from the nurses proclaiming how CUTE she is. It took them awhile to get her to Jason because she kept taking a sh*t and then wouldn't close her legs. Her Apgar score was 9/9 (they don't give perfect scores - so good enough for us ^_^). Jason and I had tears welling up in our eyes as we heard her crying as she experienced the world for the first time. When Suzie finally handed her to Jason, Olivia Bee stopped crying. She began to suck on her hands. When I began to talk to her her mouth formed a big 'O', she turned her attention to my face, and her eyes opened wide - as if to say....I know you.

Then, just as quickly, she was sent to the nursery and I was sewn up (but not without overhearing my doc discuss the 'beauty' he just sewed up....much better than the plastic surgeon down the hall...LOL....may I add he also commented on this on our 2 week postpartum appointment and said I have to find friends who've had c-sections just to show mine off...whaaaa?!?). Anyhow, I remained in recovery from 8 until 11ish. It took a little longer for me to get over the anesthesia, epidural, and pitocin (oh, and the EXTRA anesthesia my doc hooked me up with cause I began to mildly feel them fiddling with my insides towards the end of the surgery).

Finally, I was sent to my room and settled by midnight. I asked to see our little girl one more time in person and fell asleep by about 1:00 AM....a mother.



Sorry this took so long to post. As you can imagine it's been interesting around the Sposa household with the adjustments of the new addition. I have so much to add but didn't want to write anything until I atleast had our daughter's birth story up before I forgot (and I am sure I have left details out or could not describe in words the emotions or events)...but mainly so that Olivia will have this forever available for her to experience through her mother's words.
And now, I commence my usual rants + raves...except now as the many adventures of a new mother in the big city.

xo
la nouvelle mère

What The...???!!

A nice set of lungs

Howdy Folks!

Yep, these are the good ol' days as they say...
Melanie and I are greeted with this cute little face about four to five times a day.
And at this point of her life this face could mean any of the following:

1. I'm hungry
2. I'm bloated
3. Change my diaper
4. I'm hungry
5. I'm hungry
6. Fine...Hold Me.





More to come!
xo
Daddy

Bienvenue, Olivia Bee!

.....and I am BACK. Sort of.
Birth/postpartum story coming soon! For now I need to grab a minute of shut-eye before Lady Olive's next feeding.

xoxo
la maman.

Posting Pictures Post Feeding

Uh-Oh!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

Name: Olivia Bee Sposa
Born: May 22, 2008
Time: 6:23 pm
Weight 6 lbs 5.14 oz
Length: 19 inches

Melanie is recovering wonderfully. I wiill be posting more pictures very soon.
She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
Melanie and I could not be happier.

Sorry for such a short post. I am so very tired.
Goodnight to all.

xo
jason.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 17 (Getting back on track!)

STATUS: 40 wks, 3 days

Well, we have been nested + physically/mentally prepared for the lady since April and now that we have some kind of a gameplan with Olivia's birth I have started preparing to regain my own health + stamina for motherhood. For those who knew me before pregnancy, I worked out 5 days a week for an hour and a half (an alternating mix: of yoga/pilates, cardio, and strengthening - all at home), weighed 105 lbs, and was a size 0. [NOTE: this was post-college; after my 3 year stint at 160 lbs and a size 14/16. It took me approximately two years to lose this weight. Thankfully, I have not come close to this size while pregnant.]. Now, I know I may or may not have that kind of time to workout once the baby comes; however, I have begun doing research on smaller ways to fit in an exercise regimen and ways of eating healthier and burning calories while still breastfeeding (especially since I can't jump into a real regimen until 6-8 weeks postpartum...I want to ease myself and my body back into that state of mind).

To begin, I am going to re-subscribe to my three magazines that I let run-out since pregnant for motivation - they are: NYLON, WOMEN'S HEALTH, + SELF. We have already started our organic/more earth-friendly way of life in the household with cleaners, bags, bulbs and food. We only eat red meat, at best, once or twice a week - and all whites have remained browns (ie, pasta, bread, rice, etc.). We don't eat dinner any later than 7:00 PM and I have always eaten at a slow pace, not allowed myself to get hungry, and to cease when I am full. I have eaten well ATLEAST 4 days of the week while pregnant and didn't allow myself small indulgences as to not end up binging. I always watch portion control (namely; 1/4 protein, 1/4 starch/carb, 1/2 veggies) and watch caloric intake from 1300-1800 a day (making sure most of them stem from fruits, veggies, and proteins with omega-3s).

Luckily, once I return to work in October, as mentioned before, I get to leave two hours early to allow for breastfeeding for the first year of birth. During this time it will allow me a little extra time to either take her out in a jogging stroller or else myself some time to workout (since this means Jason and I will both be off of work by 2 or 3!).

So, here I am....ready + motivated. Yesterday at the doctor's appointment the doctor said I was a little swollen; however, I SWORE I was having a good day because I was still wearing my Converse and could see my ankle bones and veins in my hands and feet. This was SUCH a treat and ray of light...means I am really holding a bunch of water weight which will go away in a week or two after birth (along with the extra weight of the placenta, amniotic fluid, and, of course, THE BABY!). A number of people have told me that I don't even look pregnant except for the watermelon/basketball protruding from my belly (and the, oh, 34Ds of milk I'm sporting!)...so this has also reassured me to some extent that I have done my very best for the health of myself and the baby.

I know to some this preparation seems so vain; however, I really feel that parents should set an example to your children in eating habits and personal health. This is one of the reason why America is so obese and is considered the richest third world country in the world (because we do not make health a priority and make the health system such a difficult, money-hungry crock). I have seen this reflection in other families who do or do not eat well and the repurcussions of their eating habits. I mean, if you don't have your health - what do you really have?
Besides, I love the extra energy, stamina, adrenaline, and discipline I receive from working out and eating healthy!

Anyway, today Karen and I are going to attempt to walk around the main drag, grab some lunch, pedicures, and some light shopping by the baby/dog park that's two blocks from our house. The weather is beautiful + hopefully my energy and Olivia will let me enjoy the day.

Hopefully this will all keep me calm for tomorrow's nerve-wrecking tests!

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 16 (Part 2 - apres le docteurs)

STATUS: belly grew 1 inch in a week!

So, we are back from our doctor's appointment and Karen is fixing us a Mexican dinner (spicy foods don't fail me now!). The good news is that my sweet vaj will have a restful night rather than one of artifical cramps caused by some sadist doctor. I asked him, just as he pulled out the extension to the hospital bed, "So, what is the magic number - what would send me to the hospital?" Point blank - he said, "Good question - nothing."

You see, unless I were dilated to 10 cm and ready to push no number of dilatation would have sent me to deliver today. So, I would have gone through the pain of having my cervix examined for no reason except to check progress that, in reality, mean nothing. Basically, the less invasive you are to you and your body - the better. So let's leave the flora + fauna to its own as it works its magic. Next week, however, I will have to get checked since that could change the entire ebb + flow of my induction procedures in the event she hasn't shown up yet. I know you're all on the edge of your seats...so here's the breakdown (with sports commentary):

THURSDAY, MAY 22nd
Go to the hospital for NST (non-stress test) and AFI (ultrasound checking quantity of amniotic fluid).
If no problems, sent home.
If a problem in heartbeat or fluid, etc., check into hospital for an emergency cesarean

MONDAY, MAY 26th
Go to the hospital for another NST and AFI.
Same outcomes as before.

TUESDAY, MAY 27th
Weekly doctor's appointment. Will check dilation....
Here's where it gets complicated:

IF DILATED ON TUESDAY UP TO 3 CM:
go to hospital on WEDNESDAY, MAY 28th in the MORNING to begin induction on pitocin.

IF NO PROGRESS IN DILATION:
go to hospital on WEDNESDAY, MAY 28th in the EVENING to begin induction on cervadil. If this does not work, then the following morning induction will continue on pitocin.

So, that's my update.
Like I said, the less drugs and intervention - the better (for mother and child).

We got some pointers from one of Karen's friends who is certified in acupressure and are going to attempt this evening while we all watch the Idol finale. According to my doctor the only surefire home induction aids that have had the most effect is accupressure and castor oil/enemas (the latter which I would prefer to avoid.....come on, I don't do meds - all natural, s'il vous plait).


Thoughts for today...
All I know, is that I am ready to get life on the road with our little Olive! You know, a lot of people think that you have to stay at home and your life is over once a child is brought into your life; however, I find that families in the city have a different family dynamic then those in the suburbs and the level of change, flexibility and adaptation in these children are stronger than those raised in the suburbs. So, our little Olive has a summer of fun coming up and many adventures and sights to see with her fun-loving, road trippin', adventurously crafty parents. Your life only stops if you let it when you have children...and if you let your life stop - then what do you have to contribute to your own children? Parents should always continue to learn so that they can always teach their children and themselves to be better people. Afterall, you are your child's greatest role model and whether consciously or not, is who your child will decide to become as a person.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 16

STATUS: I was just teasing with the lack of posts (I am sure you were all on the edge of your seats waiting for that cute little birth announcement or pictures of baby covered in swaddling pink and crap looking like a cherub)...bet you thought I was in the hospital!
REALITY: 40 weeks and 2 days - OVERDUE (i should start charging her rent, or library fees, or interest or something!!)

The past two days I have had the pleasure of Karen's company. Many hours have been spent in what has been established as the 'internet cafe' (AKA: our dining room).

Today we run out for our weekly appointment for my doctor to rape me once again with his big man-fists to check my dilation. Jason LOVES these days because I end up suffering with cramps the rest of the day (on top of the normal evening contractions and cramps)...you can hint the sarcasm, correct?

You may have also noticed our widget...just keeps on replenishing itself to 1 more day til the baby comes.
F*cking tease.

I did read that the average first time pregnancy is 41 weeks and 1 day. Sooo, once again. WE SHALL SEE.
All I know is that she is not fashionably anymore and is already misbehaving. heehee.

Oh, and we got the REAL true version of the bloody show over the weekend.
I never knew that I would be so excited to see snot come out of my vaj.

What is for sure....if she keeps staying bundled up in there she's just going to keep getting bigger and I will end up having to have her come out of the sunroof and not the side-door. Arrrrrgh.

Oh...and one last thing...
the VERY VERY BEST to all the friends and family who have come out to check on us these past couple of weeks. I wasn't sure how many people read this but the compliments and excitement has truly what has kept me from going over the deep end sometimes in the midst of the frustrated belly turmoil.

Mad love to all....and hopefully I wll be more dilated (or else sent to the hospital today!).

xoxo
m.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 13

STATUS: T-Minus 1 Day

Today was absolutely glorious outside.
We woke up early and Jason did the laundry as I did some tiny chores around the house. We went out to run some errands and I snagged myself a Pilates ball for labor + eventually to exercise with. We were home by 1:00 PM because my energy was draining which brought my spirits low; however, we compensated a tad bit by opening all of the windows in the apartment and enjoyed the cool breeze and bustling life of the neighb below as circulated throughout our home. I think I get a bit frustrated with my body, the loss of energy and inability to enjoy this one last beautiful day sans daughter - only me and Jason.

Anyway, tomorrow is the big estimated due date. Still no major changes outside of the usual I have experienced for two weeks and I refuse to time the contractions today until they reach the typical 5-1-1 (every 5 minutes; lasting 1 minute long for 1 hour) - for fear of anticipation then frustration if nothing becomes of it. I will take it in stride.

Today was also the last day of just Jason and myself. It has been a beautiful haul - just the two of us...and soon it will be three. I say this because Karen, Jason's mom, is coming to stay with us for a few weeks to guarantee her presence for the birth and to lend a helping hand around the house which is awkward for us to give up - our privacy and family dynamic means so much to us; however, we know we will need that extra hand when the going gets tough. After she leaves our family will include a little person made of 1/2 myself and 1/2 Jason...a little living, breathing creation of our love. As happy + excited as we are about our new endeavours, it is also healthy to mourn the close of the chapter of your life as two. This is to enable oneself to embrace the chapter you are about to open. I sit here, watching Jason sleep (as he has done for hours today next to me as I napped). I can only say that I could not have found a more beautiful man to enter this new adventure with through the pains of pregnancy/labor and the opportunity to welcome more 'firsts' into our lives and to relive our childhood through our daughter. I don't even know how to put into words all the emotions I am feeling in regards to becoming a mother or the growing connection Jason and I have developed over the years and especially through this pregnancy. All I can say is...thank you, Jason.
For loving me.
For accepting me.
For making me laugh.
For showing me beauty in the world.
For bringing me true happiness for the past nine years and the rest of my life.

For being you.
I look forward to tripping, to falling, to laughing, to crying, to loving through all of these things with you.
Only you.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 12

STATUS: last night - those fabled CRAZY horrible menstraul cramps...yet another, freakin' sign of early labor (quit teasin' already, f'realz)

As far as the baby-making goes we here at the Sposa household are still trying to get her outta here and into the great wide open. We are thinking that she may have inherited her father's sense of punctuality which means either Saturday or Sunday (a tad bit early or else right on time). Then again, if she has inherited my sense of time, she will be fashionably late on Monday or Tuesday. Either course, Karen, Jason's mom, is coming into town to keep me company/sane on Sunday. Basically, I am taking on this Doogie Howser sense of the world and have finished the internet atleast three times a day.

So, we are still eating pineapples, walking, resting, and all that other fun stuff. I do feel some changes...but, again, you never know since at this point, your body really isn't yours. I think my friend said it best - your body knows what it needs to do, it's been warming up to this point [being labor], but since this is its first time, you have to give it the benefit of the doubt and let it warm up + prepare. Same with the whole labor thing...just let your body do what it does - no matter how much it sucks.

Anyway, not much going on this Friday. Just staying in since the rain is pretty gross out. Been reading the book I got in yesterday and got the new issue of PARENTS magazine in the post, too.

BIG BUSINESS accomplishments today though....FINALLY got my life insurance in check (wooooo!) and discovered my credit score went up 100+ points since last year! Just in time for the baby's arrival! We also recently got our Certificate of Authority for the Brooklyn craft fair - glad we filed it early - it took a minute to get in...and got our knucklebuster in the post for our credit card orders..it's fun to use, like you're playing store!!

Otherwise, we just ordered some Chinese - I know....gross....but it's perfect for the weather and the staying in part. I tried to stay healthy and got steamed chicken instead of fried - heehee.

This weekend...besides Karen's arrival on Sunday, we will be wa-wa-walking around the mall, probably to Wal-Mart (I need some fabric b/c I want to make myself a moby wrap...and it requires no sewing!!), and probably either Babies R Us or Costco....just because - but I guess we will see where my energy and crotch pressure will let me go!

Have a great weekend + I am sure you will all hear from me soon!

m.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 11 (Part 2)

Much like the spotting of Sasquatch or Nessy I am pleased to give you the last of the baby bump photos (granted I have only posted once before - I believe right around the holidays). Nonetheless, Papa + I were having a good time just before we left the house for our daily outing. Milo, on the other hand, was ready for a nap at this point).

Oh, and the trip to Target went well. Pigged out on some McDonald's, I am sure I will pay for this later since we never eat that crap. Also picked up a book, some nursing tanks, a thermometer for Olivia's room, and other knick-knacks.
Contractions have picked up a bit - more frequent then yesterday - and the menstrual-type cramping has been gracing us with their presence. Tonight - more snacking on pineapples and end the night with a nice cup of tea.

Enjoy the pictures!

xoxo

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 11

STATUS: Operation Induce Labor - In Progress

PICTURED: Illustration by Papa, WAITING FOR YOU, OLIVIA BEE

Last night there was not much action going on. I was suffering from gas pains, cramping from the day before's internals, and contractions - on top of that the lady was kicking and carrying on taking it out on my crotch.

Today, is a different day/night (*hopefully*).
Jason purchased a fresh pineapple yesterday and I cut it today - DE-LIC-IOUS....did you know you're supposed to turn a pineapple upside down in the fridge for about 30 minutes before cutting it? It helps move all of the sweetness throughout the fruit since chances are it has been sitting upright for awhile.

It's sunny today and when Jason gets home we're going to go walking around a shopping center close by - it has a cute Japanese market (Mitsuwa) as well as an Old Navy, Target, Outback, Barnes and Noble, etc....right on the Hudson. Perfect for, you know, aiding the head's descent; thereby, gravity forcing ye olde effacement/dilation.

Otherwise, the normal tired feeling today but - no pain, no gain!

Happy Thursday to all!

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 10

STATUS: remaining pro-active

OK, I admit, yesterday I was a bit down and out with the frustrations of pregnancies. Believe me, I am not the only when you get around to the 38-42 week mark and your body just keeps teasing you with all these preterm labor symptoms and mumbo jumbo. All these different things keep popping up that you can lose course with your own body and begin analyzing each little tidbit.

No, I have not come to terms that Olivia's birthday could be one written into someone's schedule and created by a series of chemical agents; therefore, I am going to ease myself into the at-home labor inducers. Sure, the American doctors and hospital creatures may look frownly upon these methods because nothing has been 'proven' through scientific research but I raise my double-jointed middle finger at that and scoff at your frown....because you would rather make a buck off of your freak medicines that aren't even made of anything natural in the first place (I swear, too many people put too much trust in the system). People have utilized these methods (including midwives and homebirths) all over the world for years and what a coincidencs that the US has one of the highest infant death rates of developed countries and that, oh, have we forgotten that America is the richest third world country because of the failing health system?!
*AHEM* I digress...but without apologies.

The methods I have elected to try are the most natural I could find. I only want to try a handful at a time since I do, technically still have 4 days to the 'estimated due date' (a term I believe should be swiped off the face of the earth for the sanity of pregnant women everywhere). Quite honestly, I wouldn't mind going into next week pregnant - it's that dreaded last week of May that I bite my lip til it bleeds that I so want to avoid - namely the testing, the Pitocin, the increased risk of complications, and the dreaded cesarean (not because it's surgery but the drugs and the complications which tend to accompany it...which begins with the administration of PItocin in the first place. It's a vicious cycle, folks.).


So, my methods are as follows:

1. Accupressure - varying pressure points aid in the relaxing or stimulation of different organs, muscles, etc. that contribute to the onset of labor pains or ripening of the cervix. They can also be utilized in the labor room to help ease the pains of labor. (I applied pressure to one spot as an experiment and out of nowhere the baby began squirming and I could feel some difference in my cervix/intestines...amazing!).

2. Eating FRESH pineapple, mango, papaya - good thing for me I was raised with a tropical fruit palate! These are believed to have small amounts of bromelaine which works with prostaglandin in inducing labor. I would need to eat quite a bit of it...but not too much as to create the runs!

3. Raspberry leaf tea = I started this in the second trimester because it is said to help strengthen the uterus. At the time, it triggered my Braxton-Hicks contractions; however, also made them less painful. You may recall I had to stop them because the contractions came one on top of the other and caused concern to inhibit a preterm labor. Hopefully, it will have the same effects...atleast in triggering the contractions!

4. Walking/birthing ball - These movements help to sway the hips and aid in the descent of the baby - which pushes the effacing/dilation, in theory. I can only walk so far without getting exhausted so I will continue with this; however, I know the birthing ball (ie, yoga/pilates ball) well, and know that it will help release pressure on my back and can be a key tool in the labor room to release pressure.

5. Sex/nipple stimulation - OK, in my world - nothing is TMI...so, supposedly semen has hints of prostaglandins (the hormone that triggers labor) and nipple stimulation can release the hormone Oxytocin - which is the NATURAL hormone that the body releases which is complementary to the man-made, horrible doctor version known as Pitocin.

Anyway, these are my steps....atleast until Friday or Saturday - which we will then elect a couple more inducers (namely, eating curry, licorice, etc.).

Wish me luck...

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 9 (Part 2 - post-Dr's appt.)

Jason, thankfully, drove us into the city for our doctor's appointment. It gave him some more practice getting to the hospital - and during midday around lunch-ish so the streets were nice + bustling.

We were not really sure what to expect from this visit. We knew all we could do is give the latest update from our last doctor's appointment - namely, the spotting after last week's internal, the loss of the mucus plug, nauseousness, lost another pound or 2 (Wooo!), and, of course, last night's episode - all just signs of prelabor. He promptly checked my dilation (which this time had me moan/yell so much that afterward that three nurses that I have befriended came in at separate times to check on me and life my spirits). Unfortunately, to my/our dismay, nothing has changed. The dilation is only a fingertip and I am only 70% effaced. It was really discouraging - especially since her due date is in five days.

Afterwards we met our doctor in the office and began discussing the dreaded - the possibility of induction. Our hospital's policy is to only induce if overdue by two weeks. After two weeks the amniotic fluid and placenta tend to 'expire'. Anyway, our plan is as follows:

MAY 20 - 2:30 weekly appointment
MAY 22 - 2:00 Non-stress test; amniotic fluid testing
MAY 26 - Walk-in to labor + delivery, Non-stress test; amniotic fluid testing
MAY 28 - 6:30 Induction (if labor has not been administered naturally)

The two appointments with the testing is to make sure all is well inside. Both are non-invasive and should not harm me or the baby; however, in the event something appears abnormal, then we could be checking into the hospital that same day.

I just hope that labor progresses on our terms as a family - from our home and not because there is something wrong from a test or that we are overdue and chances of complication increase (all which require tests and drugs that I really had hoped to avoid). I really enjoyed being in sync with Jason and my body last night and would like to experience the early latent phase of labor at home with just Jason in our bed.

Otherwise, we wait some more + trying to keep our spirits up.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 9

STATUS: pending (so...was it a false alarm or am I still in early labor???)

Yesterday I woke up with the fatigue I felt all day on Sunday. I felt nauseous and spent most of the day in bed eating cereal and mixed nuts with cranberry juice. By about 11:30 in the morning contractions started in - very mild - and came every 30 minutes and lasted until about 3:30. At 4:40 in the afternoon the contractions came back and continued every 10 minutes until the wee hours of the morning (about 2:00 AM). I slept between the contractions, drank plenty of water every couple of hours (in my sleep!), and used the bathroom continuously. Sometimes the contractions would even wake me or Jason.

Then...Jason left for work at 5:00 this morning and I realized that all the symptoms were gone. I was so disappointed. All this time I have been afraid of going into labor and the chaos of it all and last night, when the end appeared to be near, and I had harnessed and realized my meditations and patterns of dealing with the pain....it all went away. I was ready. I was getting rest. I was calm. And - nothing.
I know she will come when she is good and ready but I really hope it's on her terms and not Pitocin.

Today we have our weekly appointment. I am assuming dilation will be checked again and hopefully those 12+ hours yesterday did some progress as far as dilation goes. I am also curious to see what my doctor says about the possibility of stripping my membranes (that is, separating everything from the cervix - this tends to cause natural stress on the cervix thereby releasing the necessary hormones to begin labor. Unfortunately this can take 2-3 attempts - then again, it can be at most of 48 hours to see results of labor coming true).

Nonetheless, I hope all is well in there. She was up all night moving and squirming between each contraction, too (I can only imagine the discomfort she, too, was feeling).
I have been up since quarter to six this morning so I think I am going to try to get a cat nap in before the hustle into the city about noon-ish.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 8

STATUS: in the family way

PICTURED: My new best friend. Ladies + gentlemen, the Contraction Master.

Nothing else to report except that I have discovered that Baby Story + Bringing Home Baby come on TLC from 9:00-11:00 AND 2:00-4:00.
Yea...I'm set - and yet already SO over these shows. It's like rubbernecking...

About 9 months ago...

David + Katharine came to visit for Labor Day weekend.
They announced their impending baby.
We found out a week later that we, too, were in the family way.

This picture is from that weekend. Jason and I are patiently waiting for the Staten Island Ferry.
Perhaps this year the same picture can be taken - with a stroller to boot!

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 7 (HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!)

STATUS: still pregnant; loss of mucus plug

Yup, officially lost ye olde plug at about 3:45 AM and have continued to watch the remains disappear over the course of the morning (makes your pee smell like Comet!).
Does it mean anything? Not quite. Just another early sign of labor...could be, once again, hours to weeks before delivery. It means my cervix is ripening (dilating + effacing) and the plug fell out because the space opened up.

This weekend has been exhaustingly relaxing.
Friday we continued working on the prep of crafts.
Saturday was a continuation...screenprinting, setting up credit card orders for the fairs, packaging product, and updating the website. I felt sick later that day about quarter to nine and snuck off to bed and Jason let me sleep in until eight this morning then surprised me with my Mother's Day gifts from him and the kids.
I got a cheesy mug (apparently one of many more to come) from the boys (Milo, the pup, + Buddy, the cat). Jason and Olivia gave their MILF a gift card to pick up some postpartum clothes since I am so excited to go shopping and working out again!


Physically I am exhausted today - could barely make it in the shower much less to church (which breaks my heart). I guess it has to do with the 12 hours of sleep, impending labor, and the pregnancy. Jason is being a sweetheart and is cleaning the house (it's not really messy but is overwhelming to me and I can't stand thinking that I could go into labor and the house would be messy when we get back...call me OCD) and also running errands. We were going to eat out but in my condition decided instead to stay in and ordered from our favourite Italian place - Benny Tudino's. We are regulars there and really enjoy the food and surroundings. Anyway...patiently awaiting my brunch of fried calamari, Chicken Marco Polo, and Ziti with meatsauce.

Then...back to refreshing my memory on childbirth/labor and a nap.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 5 (Part 2: This is only a test...)

Had this been an actual rupture of the membranes Papa + I would have packed up the car and headed to the hospital to have the little girl.
Yup, we had our first false alarm. I was sitting on the computer about half past noon when I stood up and felt a large amount of...spillage in my boxers. Jason called at that same moment to say he was on his way home and waiting for the bus. I got into the shower just as I had planned prior to the spillage and laid down on the bed with underwear + liner in place.

They ('they' being the online professionals) advise that if you are not sure if your water broke then you should lay down for 30 minutes with underwear and liner. If after 30 minutes you stand up and spillage appears and cannot be ceased with ye olde Kegels then go to the doctors. Well, as you can suspect...nothing happened for me.

So.....we went on with our daily routine. Met and found our pediatrician, ate at Quizno's...then Jason dragged me to Target as part of my daily three-hour outing. I was not up for it and was already tired, cold and wet (it's lovely weather here...pfffftttt). We purchased more diapers, sunshades for the car, a new toy for my puppy, and other knick-knacks we didn't need but felt deserved....I can't believe we're already suffering from cabin fever....LOL - just kidding.

I'm wrapping my day up and it is only quarter to seven. I hope not to be saying this too soon; however, it is getting easier to sleep...

And tomorrow is another day.
Awaiting patiently for your arrival, dear daughter.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 5 (Save [yet another] Date!!!)

We have just been notified that UNDERNEATH MY TREE has been selected as a vendor at the Charm City Craft Mafia's Pile of Craft Show in Baltimore, MD.

This one falls right between the two-day Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn and the Crafty Bastards show in Silver Spring, MD (a suburb of DC).

Hope our friends + fam can swing by to say hello...and to meet + greet our little lady!

I am just so thankful that I have this prolonged maternity leave. Today I am packaging some EPs and screenprinting some stationery.
Then I am off to meet Jason for lunch at Quizno's and a meeting with a potential pediatrician....it's raining + yuck out so we'll probably just continue crafting for the rest of the day afterward...or see a movie...hummmmmmm.

Send me a holla.
T-MINUS 9 days, folks.....
any freakin' day now, little girl!

xoxo

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 4

Sleep did not come easy once again last night; however, I am happy to report that I was up at 8:00 this morning. Makes me feel more like an adult with somewhere to go/something to do. I fixed the bed and worked on some of the crafts for the craft shows coming up in June.

Jason came home early today + now we're just waiting around...at about 4:00 we're going to run errands at the grocery, drop off an Etsy order, and swing by the pharmacy for my prescription.

Afterwards we will come back, make some dinner, and work on some screenprinting.

Quiet day.
Thank gosh cause I am exhausted + Olivia is really active today.

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 3 (Part 2...psssst...TMI)

Ummmm, that f*cking bloody show!
No, not the British form of bloody. The bloody show as in an early sign of labor.
Yup. Got it.

Still doesn't mean anything...just that it's an early sign. Apparently it can be anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks before true labor begins (true labor being your water breaks or a consistency in the ole contractions).

Trying to gear up on rest now...dreading the nighttime like a werewolf to a full moon. Know the nightly contractions are coming...I can feel them meeting to discuss their strategy in making me miserable in my lower back now. Also, I need to rest up in case tonight is the night. Jason is doing one last check of our labor + delivery bags - just in case.

I have to admit that in the beginning I was skeptical about 'wasting' two weeks of my 5-1/2 months of maternity leave on waiting for baby...but now I am very thankful. My swelling went down A LOT, losing weight by eating healthier again, tying up some loose ends on errands....and getting lots of rest + 'me' time (and finally getting to watch TLC's A BABY STORY + BRINGING HOME BABY).

I guess I am ready as I will ever be!!!

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 3 (To Do List)

STATUS: still pregnant

I woke up - again - at 9:00. This time it wasn't just the inability to sleep. This time it was because I was having the WORST back cramps and contractions known to mankind. I was sure she was going to come out but the timing was irregular and the intensity didn't increase it just hurt all freakin' night. Poor Jason kept waking up from my moans and groans and applying counter-pressure to the worst parts. I think I finally fell asleep watching the Democratic polls on CNN around 1:15 (oddly enough - one of my favourite things to watch this year) so it was rather soothing...and this time Jason let me keep it on cause he knew I couldn't just moan in the dark. The races took my mind off of it at times. It sucked because everytime I was about to drop off the cliff into deep sleep the pain would start. Poor Olivia - she was up through it all, too, since it means decrease space and pressure on her as well.

I don't even remember Jason saying 'goodbye' this morning - which is normally a light-hearted conversation between us at about 5:00...ending with me going back to sleep for a couple more hours. I felt like I had been hit by a truck when he rolled out of bed at 4:15....

Anyway, this morning I am bound and determined to take it easy. I did a number of things on my TO DO LIST, which really requires me to sit in front of the computer...I set up an appointment to meet a possible pediatrician in Hoboken, am working on settling my life insurance (via email with my insurer), picked out/did research on the right breast pump for our lifestyle/family dynamic, and am currently awaiting a call back for an appointment from Jason's dermatologist..

Why a dermatologist you ask?
Well, when you are pregnant your belly button tends to...ummmm, 'level out' - ie, turn inside out. Mine is a deep one and apparently, unbeknownst to me I have a mole IN MY BELLY BUTTON. Slightly three-dimensional; however, definitely something to have a doctor look into ASAP since once I give birth that baby is getting sucked right back into the abyss for no one to reach. So yea....my OB/GYN says it looks harmless enough but it is always worth that extra assurance/insurance that all is well in that black hole sun.

For the rest of the day (it's only 10:30, mind you) /week...laying in bed, watching movies, waiting for Jason to get home about 2-ish. Then, if I am up for it, a lovely stroll through Hoboken and another tasty Subway sam'wich....

xoxo

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 2 (TMI)

Made it through our second day + the weather was BEAUTIFUL.

This morning I woke up once again at 9:00. I have been having trouble falling asleep lately. I will fall asleep at about 9:30 PM, then wake up to pee (one of the many times) and then won't be able to fall back asleep until between 12 to 2. Jason even makes me turn off the TV sometimes (mind you, the TV that didn't seem to keep him awake AT ALL and was keeping me company). So, I am left alone by myself, in the dark, with my screwed up hormonal pregnancy thoughts + Olivia (who senses her mother still awake) moving around...adding to why I am still awake....

Anyway, I woke up and immediately baked three batches of cookies (2 chocolate chip, 1 single batch just for Papa). Then got ready for our trip to the city for our doctor's appointment.
I met Jason at work at about quarter to one and gave the two batches of chocolate chips to his coworkers...I love those guys.

Anyway, we went to the doctor and got some recommendations for pediatricians on our side of the Hudson (turns out our doctor lives fairly close and had a number of recs). I discovered I lost TWO pounds (with no worries...since Olivia is definitely getting bigger)!!! We then discussed my back cramps and frequent contractions...and did the dreaded dilation check...Jason says I turned beet red and he blew on my face to cool me off. All I remember is saying 'OH' really loud then thinking ['Doctor's office'] and a whispered 'F*ck' followed....so polite of me, I know.

Basically, to start pushing the baby out you must be 10 centimers. One centimeter is equal to roughly one finger going through the cervix. Well, the doctor checked and I am only 1/2 a fingertip dilated and 70% effaced. Effaced is the part that gradually squishes and disappears; thereby, opening the cervix more...
Does this mean I am right on time or running late? Neither.
You see, a woman can walk around dilated up to 3 centimeters and 100% effaced for WEEKS!!! Other women can dilate from 0 to 10 centimeters in as little as half an hour.

...and there you have it.
An actual update that told you nothing except that at 3:00 PM today I was not ready to go to Labor + Delivery; however, right now..or tonight could be a different story.

Afterwards, we made a giant U-turn around Central Park from the Upper East Side to the Upper West Side to go to the Upper Breast Side. I bought my first nursing bra as a 'starter' and we will probably rent our breast pump for the first two weeks from them (just to confirm that my milk does come in...since there's always that chance that I can't breastfeed at all for a variety of reasons). Anyway, it was a really nice experience and I look forward to going back there again. Perhaps not with Jason since he was stuck in the waiting room (men aren't allowed in the back since it's just a bunch of ladies changing in and out of bras and whatnot. Oh....and FYI....before I was a 32A (basically a training bra...all cute and fit with my 2-pack abs and waif-ish figure)...Ummmm, I'm measuring at a 34D right now....and normally breasts will go up one more bra size once the milk comes in!!!! WTF. I hate wearing bras...and even moreso...I hate boobies.
The only consolation is that I lose up to 500 calories a day just breastfeeding!!!

For dinner we enjoyed the $5.00 footlong at Subway and stopped by the shop downstairs, M Avery Designs in our building. Megan is always kind enough to pick up our packages when we are at work and we always like to stop by and see her latest window display or animals she is petsitting. Anyway, she is VERY sweet is going to custom make a nursing cover for me! She doesn't sell them - so I will be her guinea pig! I am really excited about this since the Hooter Hiders by Bebe au Lait were measuring too large for my petite frame (ummm, I'm only 5'0"). I got to pick out some fabric and it will be reversible, too!

So, that's our day in a nutshell...we're slowly wrapping things up and winding down. Tomorrow and the rest of the week Jason will be home by about 2ish. After tomorrow the rain kicks in, so tomorrow afternoon will be spent walking through Hoboken, enjoying the weather with puppy...and possibly another stop for a Subway footlong!

The Olivia EP

One day towards the end of my first trimester, when we had learned that we were having a daughter, I asked Jason to write a letter to our daughter. It was our first weeked knowing the baby was a girl and we could identify her as a 'she' and not as a lima bean. We were going to go window shopping for our anticipated arrival. I wanted Jason to do something productive that Friday since he was home early. I thought a letter to our daughter which could be given to her towards her entrance into young adulthood would be nice.

In lieu, Jason wrote a song. These songs became a handful more songs.
For lack of better words, a concept album.

The Olivia EP tells his story. Welcoming our child into the world + who he will strive to be as an individual, a husband, + a daddy.

I think it's beautiful....but you don't have to take my word for it.
Listen/purchase HERE if you'd like.

xoxo
la maman

MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 1 (and it's only 10:30 AM)

My last day of work was pretty surreal as mentioned + today is turning out even stranger. It's hard to believe that I will not be at worked (and yet paid) until mid-Octoberish...it's like I am a temporary stay-at-home mom or something. Jason says I should start a routine or something but I know that's not tangible since chaos is just around the corner once the lady appears + we have to teach her the difference between night + day, feedings, etc.

So, today I woke up at 9:00 AM. I think this is the first time I woke up this late in a couple of years. I did some chores around the house that didn't get done on Saturday since I was having one of those 'pregnant days' (namely, my part of the bathroom, the kitchen floor, and the dishes). Now, I am sitting in the dining room about to tackle some crafts.

I was thinking later, if energy allows, of baking some cookies. NO, not for us (but I'll save us a 1/2 dozen, probably), since we don't normally eat junk food....more because I like to bake and haven't had time since after work (since being pregnant) I would just eat a light dinner + crash into bed. Also, a mani/pedi is definitely in line! I hate that you can't get too committed to anything you plan since energy may not suffice or else...well, labor may take its place +, of course, parenthood after that.


Tomorrow we have our 38th week appointment. No new developments that I am aware of; however, they may check my dilation. Otherwise, I have developed some stretching sensations that are similar to the stretching of my uterus in the first trimester (lower left hand groin area - TMI), back cramps that are similar to menstrual cramps (I hear are in preparation for labor), + Braxton Hicks contractions are definitely more notable these days (unfortunately not consistent enough in intervals or increasing pain to monitor and go to L+D for). After our appointment, Jason is going to take me to the Upper Breast Side - it's a boutique for breastfeeding women that specializes in nursing bras + tanks. Should be fun + a nice way to spoil myself....if you can't look good then you won't feel good as a mother, right? And I think there are a couple of cute kids stores in the area as well.

Anyway, hopefully the weather stays nice + when Jason gets off work I can have dinner ready for him and we can take the puppy to the park or something (oh, how domesticated I sound already)...

Must.
Go.
Outside.

Must.
Feel.
Like.
Human.
Being.....

Going green...

For Jason + I, the topic of going green has been ongoing for a couple of years now. I guess it began when we started working out just after we got married + I focused on developing healthier eating habits. This week we have decided to do our best in going green for the earth + to set an example for our Olivia.

To begin, we already knew that living in the city is definitely a greener lifestyle versus the suburbs. The primary reason being mass transportation. Ok, sure, we own a car; however, it is not an SUV and we only drive it [if at all] on the weekends - meaning we only fill up with gasoline once a month. We also do not have a dishwasher or washer/dryer in our apartment so the unnecessary luxury or energy use is non-existent. We are also going to switch our light bulbs for more energy-efficient bulbs + luckily already have the habit of never leaving unnecessary appliances or lights on.

This week we began to utilize brown paper bags at the grocery. We learned that if you utilize these bags again + again, our store will also take two cents off your total for each reused bag. Once these bags become impossible to handle, we can then recycle those with the recycling we have established (and is conveniently picked up once or twice a week on our stoop). We also utilize shopping bags when going to the mall, Ikea, or the flea market to avoid unncessary baggage use.

I have always tried to purchase organic or locally (well, preferably, both) and now Jason is finally encouraging it. He finally realizes that organic fruits + vegetables taste like they did when we were children - are larger, healthier, + even stay fresher longer (which, to me, makes up for the extra cost difference if purchased from a grocery....farmer's markets tend to be considerably cheaper - even compared to grocery store non-organic foods!). We don't really eat that much meat either so that helps, too.

We are still exploring ways to help Olivia have a greener environment. Unfortunately, with our lifestyle, cloth diapers are not economical but we are actively seeking advice. Ideally, I would prefer for wooden toys for Olivia and nothing with batteries (since they are quite difficult to decompose) - as well, toys that are not heavily packaged with unnecessary plastics or cardboard.

Anyway, this isn't meant to be a preach to anyone. And for those of you who say - oh, so trendy of us....well, what is so bad about saving the earth + being trendy at the same time? I am just excited about a cleaner, healthier lifestyle both inside our home and out - wit that said...does anyone else have any other ideas or suggestions on creating a greener lifestyle?

a message from Dad.

I know I don't say much...




but oddly enough I am really looking forward to this.
Sixteen more days till my baby is here.

xo
jason.

Pa + Olive - BOOTLEG magazine feature...

Papa's music + artwork (inspired by our little Olive) has been featured on the cover avec article of BOOTLEG magazine, an east coast music/culture/art magazine.

We're both so proud of Jason + honoured to be mentioned + a source of inspiration for his talent + creativity...

Here's the cover + full article for your perusal (click image to enlarge)...