MATERNITY LEAVE: Day 13

STATUS: T-Minus 1 Day

Today was absolutely glorious outside.
We woke up early and Jason did the laundry as I did some tiny chores around the house. We went out to run some errands and I snagged myself a Pilates ball for labor + eventually to exercise with. We were home by 1:00 PM because my energy was draining which brought my spirits low; however, we compensated a tad bit by opening all of the windows in the apartment and enjoyed the cool breeze and bustling life of the neighb below as circulated throughout our home. I think I get a bit frustrated with my body, the loss of energy and inability to enjoy this one last beautiful day sans daughter - only me and Jason.

Anyway, tomorrow is the big estimated due date. Still no major changes outside of the usual I have experienced for two weeks and I refuse to time the contractions today until they reach the typical 5-1-1 (every 5 minutes; lasting 1 minute long for 1 hour) - for fear of anticipation then frustration if nothing becomes of it. I will take it in stride.

Today was also the last day of just Jason and myself. It has been a beautiful haul - just the two of us...and soon it will be three. I say this because Karen, Jason's mom, is coming to stay with us for a few weeks to guarantee her presence for the birth and to lend a helping hand around the house which is awkward for us to give up - our privacy and family dynamic means so much to us; however, we know we will need that extra hand when the going gets tough. After she leaves our family will include a little person made of 1/2 myself and 1/2 Jason...a little living, breathing creation of our love. As happy + excited as we are about our new endeavours, it is also healthy to mourn the close of the chapter of your life as two. This is to enable oneself to embrace the chapter you are about to open. I sit here, watching Jason sleep (as he has done for hours today next to me as I napped). I can only say that I could not have found a more beautiful man to enter this new adventure with through the pains of pregnancy/labor and the opportunity to welcome more 'firsts' into our lives and to relive our childhood through our daughter. I don't even know how to put into words all the emotions I am feeling in regards to becoming a mother or the growing connection Jason and I have developed over the years and especially through this pregnancy. All I can say is...thank you, Jason.
For loving me.
For accepting me.
For making me laugh.
For showing me beauty in the world.
For bringing me true happiness for the past nine years and the rest of my life.

For being you.
I look forward to tripping, to falling, to laughing, to crying, to loving through all of these things with you.
Only you.